Thors College Journal: Wish You Were Here

[egyptiandong]

Hey guys, I know I haven't been here much lately, time is a precious commodity it seems and not an agglomerate one at that, but I'm back and hopefully with a vengeance. I need something of an egress for my creativity. So here I am.

I was thinking what my next collection of short stories could consist of. I considered The Hobbit: Jihad, The Hobbit as an epilogue for Boone of the River, The Chronic-What-cles of Narnia, and many others before I just decided to start posting my journal on this site.
I chose this route because since you fellas stopped coming to UAFS all kinds of crazy things have begun. Some of these journal entries even Jim, who still goes to this school, will not believe. Do not be fooled by this. The things that seem the most untrue are the most genuine in reality. This is my life in college I wish you all were here.

P.S. I intend to post an article every night before bed this may not come to pass, and on some days I may post more than once. Who knows? You are welcome to comment on them all and what-not just nothing to demoralizing please.

[Viking Dong]

Sounds toitr badassamost, can't wait to read the first entry!

[egyptiandong]

02/17/10

It was your average morning. Up at 5:00, 6 eggs, shower, protein shake, brush teeth, pick up the G/F. Everyday things, nothing out of the ordinary. I get to school and go to sociology only to not pay any attention. Then its on to Prob & Stat to take a quiz I didnt even know about. Then things get a little more interesting.

I have an hour break from 10 to 11 on Wednesdays, this is something Jim and I have in common, though the 'ol Lady has a lab this hour. Jim and I search for a deserted corner to waste this hour away in, but to no avail. We exhaust every option until finally Jim suggests these uber cumfy chairs on the second floor of the Med. Science building. I agreed this was a satisfactory option, so on we went.

We arrive promptly to our destination and begin talking about the normal things, when suddenly this snaggle-tooth woman with a crazy look in her eye bursts into my line of sight shouting crazy things about cameras, Russians, and how my delishush carbonated beverage was a danger to the building and everyone in it. I was appalled by this accusation and so Jim and I decided to take our perfectly safe and non-terroristic drinks to a new, less Fascist, place on campus.

We decided to take the journey across campus to the business corner in the Flanders building. We walk in find our seat and resume our conversation with no problems. Minutes later it is 10:30, I still have a few minutes before I have to go to class, and the same creature who drove us from our previous nook reappears here yelling and cursing, and then I notice. The teeth, the eyes seeming to burn with an inner fire fulled by hatred for other peoples comfort, and the fiery sword lashed to her back, she is a Balrog of Morgoth in disguise. One of the foulest and oldest creatures left on this earth, creatures bread of hate and paranoia of ludicrously safe inanimate objects in the 13th century by Dr. Morgoth. An insane French doctor who swore as long as people were mildly uncomfortable on earth he would be completely contented in Hell.

I tackle the beast. "Run, Run" I yell to Jim. He must have thought me crazy at first, poor unknowing sap. I turn to the beast bursting out of her disguise. Flaming wings and horns bursting forth first, followed by teeth ripping through the pseudo-flesh that hid her identity. Within seconds she had me pinned against a wall and just before she could sink her en-flamed teeth into my exposed neck Jim shoots her with his trusty magick missiles. This distracts her just long enough to pull my +3 siangham and slice her burning flesh. She releases me, but is only amicably injured. She regathers her composure and attacks again tackling me so hard we fall through the first layer of the earth. As we fall I stab her in the back between her wings, and then hack at one of her wings keeping her from gaining the upper hand in this air battle, but letting her catch enough air to slow our fall, limiting damage to myself. We fell for what seemed an eternity. My muscles began to burn with lactic acid from my powerful thrusts and penetration.

We finally landed on the snowy mount Uinray. The summit shown the scars of the fallen city of Orima left behind by the noble race called Warve when they left to seek mountains with more Itrail, the precious metal which sustains their people through "under the table" dealings with the Ukrainian government.

The battle was hard fought, though finally in the end I smote down my enemy. I stood upon her ash and glorified in providing the students of the uafs campus with a little more comfort. I then climbed down the mountain and found a small village in the shadow of it who were so kind as to allow me to use there teleporter back to campus.

9:30, "wiffleprompter!!!" I missed philosophy. This did not bother me to much. Stupid class anyway. I had plenty of time to make my test in psychology, lucky, lucky. Then, lo and behold, the classroom was desolate, but with further investigation I realized my professor was on jury duty. "Score!!!" 2 more days to not study for the test. I met up with Cassie, we hung out out in the new corner until she went to class. I went to the library to fog it up a little. Then I went to total fitness. The day went on like this, just a boring list of obligations. Nothing spectacular happened at church. That is, pretty much, it for this Wednesday.

[egyptiandong]

02/18/10

I don't have school on Thursday this semester. Nothing rlly happened today, I spent most of it at home, bored, watching my fish.

[Viking Dong]

'Tis true, I saw I saw!

[egyptiandong]

Wow I guess 1 a day was a lil to much for me. Oh well.
__________________________________________

02/24/10

Okay today I spent a great morning with my g/f skipping my first few classes getting to skool just in time for philosophy. I get through that mess and Psych and head to the lybary to chill till Tot Fit. I go early cus some of the ppl in the lybary were acting odd. I get to the gym and wrk out as normal.

I then head back to the lybrary. Everything seems okay at first. I have a seat at one of the tables on the first floor. I soon notice this rather robust girl sucking grossly on her finger and seeming to rather enjoy it. I try to look away but its like a train wreck you cant stop watching, and then suddenly it happens. The shit hits the fan as they say. She bites down fast and hard tearing the digit from the hand. I know immediately what this is. I grab my S&W sigma 9 mill. and blow out her brains hoping the infection hadn't spread to any of the other students.

My hopes, as usual, didn't come true. it was like they were coming out of the wood work. I emptied my clip killing 15 more of the buggers. I switch to my extra clip and make a mad dash for the door. I was not going to let this spread to the rest of the campus. I kill as many more as I can while going up the stairs. No more ammo. I grabbed a rather hefty copy of "Moby Dick" and began to fight the beasts off. Ideas are running through my head but none seem plossible to contain the situation. Then I remember I have to meet Cass outside the lybrary to get my book and give her my gym bag. My phone says its 4:25, so i fight my way back down the stairs and rush out the door locking it behind me. I made the transaction and she was all "Why are you covered in koolaid" and I was like "Zombie Infestation!!!" Which I guess probably didn't make much since. I ran back in this time armed with my fully auto AR 15 and a bag full of ammo.

I started killing them right and left the slow bloody bastards began (to be continued)

[sascrotch]

*trembles in anticipation... but not in a gay way...*

Dude, epic! keepit going!

[egyptiandong]

falling one by one under the superior fire power. Anyway things went on like that for a while. Thats why the Library was closed from 5 - 7.

Then I went to church and stuff. Normal stuff.

[sascrotch]

What adventures lay ahead?!?!

[Viking Dong]

MOAR!!