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Post by sascrotch on Nov 13, 2009 13:24:00 GMT -5
dude, epic ^ Max
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Post by Viking Dong on Nov 13, 2009 22:23:05 GMT -5
I hope so!
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Post by Viking Dong on Jan 11, 2010 7:58:03 GMT -5
---- "Who, Grand Dalf? Who else could possibly know?" Boone asked frightfully. The Grand Dalf sighed. "The creature named ---- (will think of a name later). He was captured by the Dark Lord. I could not find him in time." The Grand Dalf suddenly looked weary. "Believe me, Boone. I tried. Believe me." "Then it cannot stay here, Grand Dalf. But I do not know what to do with this... you must take it, surely! You know better than I!" Shaking his bearded head, the Grand Dalf waved it away. "No, Boone, I do not think - " "Grand Dalf, you MUST take it!!" Boone shoved the precarious bong towards the wizard. "DO NOT TEMPT ME, BOONE!" The Grand Dalf shouted.
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Post by Conan Dong on Jan 11, 2010 11:46:15 GMT -5
DO NOT TEMPT ME, BOONE!" The Grand Dalf shouted. YES!!
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Post by Viking Dong on Jan 11, 2010 16:27:16 GMT -5
Boone, already deathly scared, leaped back and yelped at the Grand Dalf's verbal eruption. Noticing this, the tall wizard softened his visage. "Don't you understand, Boone? I would use it for good. Yet combined with my own powers, the Bong would eventually overtake me. I cannot - will not - allow that to happen. The Dark Lord Haurdon holds sway through this bong, Boone. And he is stirring from his slumber even as we speak. He desires this bong muchly so, for he cannot become complete in its absence." "You say that as if you mean-" "Yes, Boone! You must understand the urgency of this! Haurdon is mustering his forces, and no doubt his minions are heading here at this very moment!" Boone stifled a shriek. "Boone, this bong MUST NOT be found! If it is, it means the end of this world as we know it!" At that very moment, the leaves beneath the only window in the room rustled outside, and an ominous, red glow filled the air above it. The Grand Dalf raised his stuff suddenly, sparks starting to jump from the tip into the air around it randomly. "Boone, get down!" At that, he shoved the frobbit to the floor, and rushed towards the window. He aimed the charged staff into the bush, and a bright flash and ZAP! filled the air. A muffled cry and a string of curses followed, and the Grand Dalf, squinting into the smoke, reached down and pulled out a singed Charleton and tossed him onto the closest rug. "Well, well, well... what do we have here? Eavesdropping were we, Charleton?" The beginnings of a smile were starting to replace the grim set to the wizard's mouth. Charleton gulped, and wiped some soot from his eyes and mouth. "I wasn't smoking no eaves sir, honest!" Charleton stammered, only to have a freshly lit blunt fall out his hand.
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Post by Conan Dong on Jan 11, 2010 22:39:08 GMT -5
Is this pronounced like I think it is? If so: you minx, you!
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Post by Viking Dong on Jan 20, 2010 8:19:33 GMT -5
Zing! -------
Boone couldn't help but smile, the tension of moments of ago dissipating at the sight of his stoned friend. The Grand Dalf glared at Charleton. "So, young frobbit, what did you hear?" Charleton sat up (while subconsciously groping for the blunt he dropped), and rubbed his reddened eyes with his one free hand. "Oh, nothing important, Grand Dalf, honest! Something about stirring from slumber, hard-ons, bongs, and the end of the world. Nothing I haven't heard before here in Shag-End, sir!" The Grand Dalf kept up on glaring at the increasingly nervous frobbit. Charleton finally found the blunt he dropped and proceeded to take a long, compensating drag. "What are you going to do, sir? Please don't do any magicks, sir. Don't turn me into anything," Charleton took another drag, and continued, "...unnatural." The Grand Dalf finally chuckled once more. "Fear not, young Charleton. I have a much better plan for you...."
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Post by sascrotch on Jan 23, 2010 0:03:12 GMT -5
lol Charleton rocks
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Post by Viking Dong on Jan 25, 2010 8:26:09 GMT -5
lol toitr.
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Post by egyptiandong on Jan 25, 2010 17:13:03 GMT -5
Dude awesome. It justs keeps getting funnier and funnier.
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Post by Viking Dong on Feb 10, 2010 8:34:06 GMT -5
Boone kept going over in his head as they cut across the Shireland countryside what the Grand Dalf had told them: "Meet me at the inn of the Dazzling Donkey, in the village of Glee. I've some business I need to take care of." He was still a bit shaken about all of this; how much could one bong possibly be worth, that the fate of the world would depend upon it? And why did he, of all people, come to possess it?
As he and Charleton passed over grassy fields and evergreen copses, he could come up with no immediate solutions. Behind him, Charleton eyed the foliage around them with an ever-so-slight suspicion. The Grand Dalf had also warned them: "Stay off of the roads, my young friends. And careful of what you do; the Dark Lord has many eyes, in many places."
On mid-morning of the second day of their sudden flight, they came across one of the last farms that composed Shireland. Boone took no notice of the importance; his head was elsewhere, up among the few clouds that dotted an otherwise unblemished blue, spring sky. Charleton, though, halted.
Boone turned around, noticing the absence of his friend's footfalls behind him. "What is it, Charleton? We can't stop yet, we just had second breakfast an hour ago!" "No, Mister Boone, it's just that... well, if I take one step further, it'll be the farthest away from home... I've ever been. And you too, Mister Boone!" Boone shook his head. "C'mon, Charleton. We've got to leave Shireland as soon as we can." The young frobbit suddenly grinned. "Hey, quit walking so slow, y'hear?" At that, Boone quickly walked away into the towering maze of corn. A sad Charleton looked back toward the direction of Frobbiton and sighed. He then turned to follow Boone.
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Post by drphildong on Feb 10, 2010 10:31:09 GMT -5
Dude you must finish the epic at all costs!!!!!
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Post by Viking Dong on Feb 10, 2010 12:21:05 GMT -5
Oh, I shall, I shall.
------
What started off as a small path made by farm pests and vermin eventually gave way to the full path used by the farmers themselves. Charleton was trying to recall who's farm this was when he realized he no longer could see or hear Boone. He paused. It was dead silent.
"Mister Boone?" he shouted once. Nothing. "Mister Boone!" he shouted once more. Still nothing. His heart began to beat faster as he recalled all the terrible things that might waylay them on their journey to Glee, but worst of all was the threats the Grand Dalf had made to him if he lost Boone. Charleton groaned.
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Post by Viking Dong on Feb 10, 2010 14:45:57 GMT -5
The dismayed young frobbit began to run down the path, with his frying pan (tied to his backpack) smacking against him with every other step. He ignored it. All sorts of images of him being transformed into a toadmander, a wartgoat, a platycat, and all sorts of other horrible creaturs filled his racing mind. Without meaning to, he yelled at the top of his lungs, "I don't wanna be turned into anything unnatural!" in the middle of sprinting.
And there was Boone as he came around the corner. Charleton had to do everything he could in order to stop himself from bodyslamming him unexpectedly due to his velocity, and managed to halt mere centimeters from his surprised friend.
Boone looked at him with a bemused and yet confused expression. "Charleton, where were you? I thought you were right behind me!" "I.... (huff puff) was, mister... Boone... (huff puff)" gasped Charelton, who rarely did more exercise than was required for making afternoon sandwiches and/or lighting a fat one. Charleton brought out his canteen and took a long deep swallow.
"The Grand Dalf told me, Mister Boone: 'Charlewise Shamwow, don't you lose him.' And I don't plan to!"
Boone laughed. "Sorry, Charleton. I guess I got ahead of myself... still, no need to charge down the path yelling like a banshee's straight after you! You nearly knoc--"
At the moment, a short, fro-bearing figure burst from the cornfield and bowled Boone over into the dirt. Charleton gasped in horror at first, then stared in pure confusion after he realized a bewildered frobbit lay on top of Boone, with random pieces of farm crops scattered around them. He had only a mere second to register this before another frobbit rocketed square into Charleton himself.
Charleton's vision was obscured by the wooliness of another frobbit's fro and and armful of a rather large specimen of zucchini. With his strength (for Charleton was a bit blockier than most frobbits his age), he pushed the supposed-ambusher off of him. He got up, after wiping a few pieces of lettuce off of his tunic, and prepared for a bout of fisticuffs to ward off the sudden menaces - only to see that it was the infamous pair of frobbits: Doc Merry and Pimpin Tooke. His wavering resolve of self-defense turned to some mixture of annoyance and relief. With a frown he hefted off Pimpin Tooke from Boone, who were both laying in a sore pile, and shifted his frown to Doc Merry. He then crossed his arms and proceeded to take both of them in with a deathly glare.
"What are you two doing here? And why did you run us over?" Charleton demanded. The two looked sheepish only for a split-second, then Doc Merry yelped as he remember why they were running in the first place. The both of them hastily began picking up the fallen crops, and Boone's eyes widened in surprise.
"You've been into farmer Faggot's crops again, haven't you?" asked Boone. "No time for explaining, lads, just take some of these - " Tooke thrust a handful of radishes into Boone's arms, "- and some of these!" Charleton suddenly foundhimself carrying a sack of cauliflower, with a strange odor emanating from inside it.
"C'mon now, lads, don't just stand there!" The wily duo charged back into the thick crops and were gone in a few moments. Boone stared at Charleton, and his equally stupified friend stared back. It was only until they heard a sheep dog's bloodthirsty bark and the shouts of furious old farmer who was undoubtedly wielding a rusty scythe that they understood. They both looked at the crops in their arms, and fled as fast as they could after Doc Merry and Pimpin Tooke.
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Post by Viking Dong on Feb 11, 2010 10:19:04 GMT -5
Being spurred on by the sounds of barking getting closer, Boone and Charleton ran as fast as their short legs and un-aerodynamic fros would let them. Boone had dropped his radishes almost immediately; for whatever reason, though, Charleton clung to the olfactory cauliflower. Finally, noticing that he was carrying irrefutable incriminating evidence, he flung the the burlap sack skywards. As it were, only a small portion of it was cauliflower: the rest of the contents were a bright orange fungus. Charleton shook his head in wonder, but had little time for contemplation.
The two slower frobbits erupted suddenly from the unexpected end of the fields to find Doc Merry windmilling his arms, and his friend Tooke skidding to a halt. Unlike Charleton before, though, there was no stopping them. The two plowed straight into the other pair, and behold! they were at the edge of a steep precipice!
Four screaming, fro'd lads tumbled down the rocky and grassy slope for what seemed like a terrible age before they all fell onto the level, solid ground of a road below in a giant heap.
After a minute or so of painful mutterings, curses, and groans, they tried to get up. They were so entangled, though, it was almost useless.
Boone took the initiative. "Alright, let's try this one at a time. Doc, try to get your arm free."
Doc Merry struggled a bit with his right arm, and then an audible "snap!" was heard. The frobbit's pace paled. "I, I think I've broken somethin'!" He gingerly pulled his arm free from being locked in Charleton's elbow, only to reveal he held half of a freshly broken zuchinni in his hand. "Oh," he sighed, with relief.
Eventually, they managed to all unfree themselves. Fortunately, no injuries were sustained beyond a few cuts and bruises. After they dusted themselves, Charleton asked, "So where you two headed anyways? You ran us right off into mid air! I've already had one plunge into nothingness before this," he said, glaring at Boone for the time they jumped into the river earlier.
"What are you talkin' about? You knocked us all over, you great lummox! And besides," proclaimed Doc, straightening up indignantly, "it's a shortcut."
Charleton, becoming close to socking the the other frobbit in the mouth, replied, "To what?"
Pimpin Tooke's eyes widened suddenly. "Charles!" Charleton turn his attention towards Tooke. "What?"
"No, I mean, look! It's Charles Bombadillo!"
They all turned to where their excited friend pointed. A portly frobbit man lay curled up sleeping next to the road, with an empty bottle of whiskey in his hand and a bag of kabashi in the other. He wore a peculiar tophat and buttoned suit, with an extraordinary long tail on the coat.
"Charles Bombadillo? THE Charles Bombadillo? How can you be sure, lad?" asked Doc to Tooke.
"His hat, lad! Just look at it! And it's just like the legends say!" The two rushed over and tried to shake the frobbit awake, but to no avail. He was deep in drunken slumber.
Charleton turned to Boone as this was going on. "What's going on? I say we just leave those two buffoons here and continue, Mister Boone. Let's go." Charleton about turned and began to walk down the road, when he noticed that Boone wasn't following.
"Mister Boone? What's the matter?"
Boone was staring down the opposite way of the road. A sudden sense of dread welled up inside him, increasing with every passing second. He suddenly remembered the Grand Dalf's advice.
"I think we should get off of the road..." Boone said fearfully. Charleton looked at him blankly for a second, and then remembered as well. He started towards the edge, but the other two were still preoccupied discussing the finer aspects of the local mythos involving Charles Bombadillo.
"No, no, no, lad, he was supposed to have a feather in his hat, not a clover!" "You're wrong as usual, Tooke! It's a clover, and I'd be willing to bet me mum's fat - "
"GET OFF THE ROAD!" Boone frantically screamed. The anxiety was almost unbearable.
The two were startled and they complained, yet complied hastily - but only after Tooke pinched the sack of kabashi from Bombadillo's hand.
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